I.N.D.E.P.E.N.D.E.N.T DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?

in·de·pen·dent (nd-pndnt) adj.
1. Not governed by a foreign power; self-governing.

2. Not relying on others for support, care, or funds; self-supporting.

de·pen·dent (d-pndnt) adj.
1. Contingent on another.
2. Relying on or requiring the aid of another for support

in·ter·de·pen·dent (ntr-d-pndnt) adj.
Mutually dependent


No, I'm not Ms. Independent, not anymore and no, that didn't come about with the ring. It took lots and lots of fights with my husband and telling him how well I could do without him, then actually being without him, to realize I do need him. True the government gave me food stamps, housing, daycare assistance and would've gave me a child support check, had I went there, plus I work. But I realized life ain't about doing everything on your own, its about Interdependence. I need him to give our children something neither of us had, a good man in their lives. I need him for security, for love making, for love, for advice, for help,for friendship, for inspiration and for a lifetime partner in this struggle we call life. And he needs me for all those same things.

anyway

Ms. Independent I'm pickin' on you today. I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with being independent, but girlfriend realize, when you were trained to be independent you were preparing for war. The war against the black man. He been actin' up for some time now, I know. He's my brother, my dad, my uncle, my cousin. I see his dumb ass keep gettin' caught on the block for the same ish. I see him giving you, the good girl, a hard time. But please realize we gotta end the war. And it starts with us, then our sons and daughters.

First we need to realize there was a conscious effort to break up the black family in the slavery days and all those brainwashing tactics are still being passed down from generation to generation. The black man is showing all the signs and symptoms. They're killing each other, pushing us away, and self destructing. We, black women, are showing signs too, but it comes packaged in a great job, and independence. Now don't get me wrong, SISTAS GET YOUR EDUCATION and MAKE THAT MONEY. You don't want to have to be stuck in this hard world with nothing to fall back on and relationships should be about mutual support, not just one person taking care of the other, financially and otherwise. We all need somebody and it gets pretty lonely in independence station. We need to stop downing our brothers and start looking for solutions. And when you get in a relationship with a good man, don't forget to turn the war tactics off. Lets say it together "interdependence". Its okay to need him and for him to need you. When he's at his worst you step up, not step on him.

Then next we need to teach the youth. Their tablets still have room for good impressions. Teach them the importance of education, but also teach your children where the man's place is suppose to be. It ain't on the corner selling dope, laying on some girl's couch while she works, nor is it with all those chicken heads. Its at church (or wherever you worship), at work/ his own business, at football practice with the kids, at the top of his game, at the top of his his household, he is the king and should be treated as such. But don't you forget nor let him forget you're the queen and should be treated as such.


Ms. Independent, we can't make it alone, we need each other. I need you, he needs you, the black family needs you. You're not in this world alone, and therefore you cannot continue to live independently. We can't survive this cruel world independently.